Bria's Reverie
by Bria
Summary: EU Missing Moment from Rebel Dawn. Answers Han's question at the end of Rebel Dawn: Did she think of him? Contains character death. If you don't like that, or aren't a fan of Bria's, then this isn't the story for you. Song-fic to "I Will Remember You" by


Bria's Reverie The characters and situations depicted here are not my own. I lay no claim to them. They belong to George Lucas and   
Lucas film Ltd. Bria Tharen and Red Hand Squadron are from the mind of A.C. Crispin. No money in being earned and no infringement is intended. Please don't sue, because I'm just a poor college student and have no money.

Distribute as you wish, with disclaimer intact, but please contact me before posting it on another web page. OK? I also must deny permission for this to be posted on any pages that are listed with the "fans.starwars.com" url. I welcome any, and all constructive comments to me at: swbriatharen@yahoo.com :~) You can find my website at the following location: http://fly.to/brias/

Song-fic to "I Will Remember You" by Sarah McLachlan. I am not her or her recording company. :D

This is dedicated to Mara Jade, Emperor's Hand, thanks for the fun, and most of all, thanks for the book. :) I must also extend my thanks to my ever faithful beta Dant and, in her absence, J_girl. princess-sari also stepped in for some last minute help. Thanks! I couldn't have done it w/o you gals. :)

_Warning_: The song-fic is an EU missing moment scene from Rebel Dawn, and contains _character death_. If you do not want to read that, or if you don't like Bria, especially the latter, then this isn't the story for you.   


  


**Bria's Reverie**   
**by Bria**   
**Tuesday, May 1, 2001**   
**** ****

Bria Tharen surveyed the body strewn landscape that surrounded her. Death had come to Toprawa, taking Imperial and Rebel alike. She was the only surviving member of Red Hand Squadron. Soon she too would be gone. She sighed, and her thoughts turned to Han, as they had so often for the last ten years.

_I will remember you_   
_Will you remember me?_   
_Don't let your life pass you by_   
_Weep not for the memories_   
__ __

Bria loved him with all her heart. There was nothing she wouldn't have done for him. Of course, that was the problem... On Ylesia she had done what needed to be done. The new born Rebel Alliance needed all those credits if they could ever hope to break the Empire. Only with the Empire gone, would there ever be hope for the galaxy. Still, she had never wanted to hurt Han. Not after all that he had done for her.

Han had been _so_ angry at her the last time they had spoken. She'd hurt him badly when she betrayed him. She could still recall his angry words, '_You'd better get in your ship and outta here while the getting is good, Bria. If I ever see you again in this life, I'll shoot you on sight._'

Bria knew he would never have done that. Han had been angry and hurt when he said that. Deep down though, she would bet that he still cared for her. Not that it mattered now. He wouldn't be seeing her again in this lifetime, that much was for sure. She just hoped that he could forgive her, and not forget her.   


  


_Remember the good times that we had?_   
_I let them slip away from us when things got bad_   
_How clearly I first saw you, smilin' in the sun_   
_Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one_   
__ __

If there had been one regret in Bria's life, it would have to be how she initially left him 10 years ago. They had been headed towards a glorious future together, but she had left him one morning on Coruscant. She'd had no other choice. Han had been willing to give up his dream of serving in the Imperial Navy. After all that he had done for her, she couldn't let him sacrifice his dream. He had deserved better than that.

Bria remembered how Han had saved her from a Ylesian hell. He had escaped with her and tried to help overcome her addiction to the Exultation. He had offered her what Han Solo offered few people, his love and devotion. It had been on a beautiful Togorian beach, watching him practice his new found swimming talents, that she realized that she'd loved him since the he'd first spoken to her and that she would for all the days of her life. The moment when he just wouldn't go away... but now he had... forever...

  


_I will remember you_   
_Will you remember me?_   
_Don't let your life pass you by_   
_Weep not for the memories_   
__ __

Bria knew she didn't have much time left. She could feel death beckoning her towards it, welcoming her. Why she wasn't already gone, she didn't know. Not that it really mattered. She was paralyzed from the neck down, the result of the detonator that had finished off the last of her squadron. Her life was literally dripping away, into the puddle of blood beneath her. "Oh Han," she whispered quietly.

There was another thing that haunted her about her last time with Han. An oath he had made, one that scared her to her very soul. 'But as for today, I am no woman's fool, sister. No woman is ever gettin' to me again. _Ever_.' How Bria prayed that wouldn't be true. He deserved someone special. Someone who could erase the pain she had caused him. If the chance arose, she hoped Han took it. She wanted him to live a happy life, the kind neither of them had been able to know.   


_I'm so tired, but I can't sleep_   
_Standin' on the edge of something much too deep_   
_It's funny how we feel so much, but cannot say a word_   
_We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard_   
__ __

Bria closed her eyes and willed herself to die. But death teased her, beckoning and then eluding her when she tried to follow. Why it had come to this was beyond her, but Bria knew her mission had accomplished something historical- something that could save billions.

Someday she hoped Han would learn that the plans she transmitted to the Tantive IV weren't only for the safety of the galaxy, but for his safety as well. Even though she didn't know what she had transmitted, it had been explained to her by her commanding officer that without the plans, the Rebellion could be crushed.

The Empire was ruthless, and it had to be destroyed. It wasn't against just non-humans, but _anyone_, Han included, who didn't follow the beliefs of the Emperor. The Empire was like a disease. It would fester and grow until it was overcome... unless it was overcome...

Bria just wished she could talk to Han one last time, so that she could've explained to him why she had taken all the credits on Ylesia. Although he might try to deny it, he was a man of honor. Ultimately, she believed he would've understood her devotion. Maybe even agreed and accepted it. But Han Solo was someone who could only choose his own crusade. She shouldn't have expected him to participate in hers.

_But I will remember you_   
_Will you remember me?_   
_Don't let your life pass you by_   
_Weep not for the memories_   
__ __

How ironic that she used the very skills she'd learned from him, and it cost her their relationship. The galaxy it seemed, was not without a sense of humor, however twisted it might be.   


  


_I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose_   
_Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose_   
_Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night_   
_You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light_   
__ __

Bria owed Han so much. A lesser man wouldn't have risked his neck to free her from slavery. On Ylesia she'd experienced the agony of life. Then Han had come along and showed her the ecstasy. He showed her how to be strong, loyal, and brave. Once she left him, she'd used the skills he taught her to overcome her addiction. Whenever she felt like giving up or giving in, she'd think of him, and she always found the strength to endure. After she was free, she committed herself to the Resistance in order to fight the Empire that allowed slavery. Ultimately, it was her loyalty to the Rebellion that tore them apart.   


_And I will remember you_   
_Will you remember me?_   
_Don't let your life pass you by_   
_Weep not for the memories_   
__ __

A sob worked it's way through Bria's system and she coughed up blood. She snapped out of her reverie, as her current condition pushed it's way to the forefront of her consciousness.

Off in the distance she heard ships landing. 'More Imperials,' she thought to herself. 'I guess this is it.'

The ground was shaking. She could hear the thud of Stormtrooper's boots on the ground. Bria stuck her tongue out and reached the lullaby that was inside the collar of her uniform. It was only a matter of moments now before the suicide pill did its job.

'Goodbye, Han. I've always loved you.' As she drifted away, she heard voices approach her.   


  


_And I will remember you_   
_Will you remember me?_   
_Don't let your life pass you by_   
_Weep not for the memories_   
_Weep not for the memories_   
__ __

"Those Rebels were so stupid. Throwing their lives away on a worthless cause that doesn't stand a chance."

"You said it. And for their only reward to be death. It's a pity too. From the reports, they were good soldiers. Hey! I think one's alive."

"Negitive. I'm getting no life reading. Let's see who we got here.... just a finger print... ah. This is good news indeed. Commander Bria Tharen. Red Hand has been destroyed."

THE END   


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